How to involve parents in the prevention of gun violence among racialized youth?

“Where are the parents? ” This is a question that has been heard numerous times following incidents of armed violence involving young people. This question has serious repercussions on young people, but also on those around them.

While parents are directly affected by the problems their teens are experiencing, the measures put in place to prevent these incidents often exclude them. In Montreal, parents with an immigration background experience this form of exclusion more pronounced.

Faced with upset, shocked or even bereaved parents, everyone wants solutions — in coordination with them, and not In spite of them. In order to better understand why parents are neglected, La Converse questioned the consequences of the isolation of families when young people find themselves involved in violent, sometimes bloody, stories.

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Parents' involvement

In a recent Quebec study, experts in juvenile delinquency say that the Quebec youth protection system is oriented only towards children — which implies a deficit in terms of parental responsibility. In Quebec, the youth protection approach therefore focuses on young people, often neglecting the parents and families of young offenders.

Having worked at the Department of Youth Protection (DPJ) for more than 10 years, Myriam Coppry noticed that there was very little or no room for parents in the process of prevention and measures to help young people. “Parents need a lot of help.” She notes right away. “Parents need a lot of help.” To make up for the lack of resources for them, in 2020 she founded NunaUQ, a multidisciplinary parental coaching service helping parents in an intercultural context.

“Unfortunately, when parents come to us for help, they are already exhausted. The damage has already been done,” exclaims the parenting coaching expert. Short of solutions, these parents only realize the seriousness of the situation when the police or the DPJ intervene. “We trivialize, we don't realize that our child was able to go that far. Then, we question ourselves. Where did we not notice that there were problems? Have we transmitted our values incorrectly? ” she questions, herself a mother and grandmother.

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Different realities

For parents with an immigration background, raising a child in a country that we didn't know when they were younger remains one of the biggest challenges there is. M Coppry mentions it several times: “Nobody has been trained to raise a child in the unknown.” Here, knowledge of the intercultural issue is a key to understanding and assisting parents whose young people experience violence.

The founder of NunanuQ explains that there are various reasons why immigrant parents are, from the beginning, isolated from the problems that affect their children. “When a child grows up in an environment that is totally different from that of his parents, he has different behaviors at home and outside. The parent cannot therefore know who their child is outside the home, since there are often different socio-cultural codes for the young person depending on where they are,” she says.

In addition to all the problems already presented above, there are challenges specific to immigrant parents. “We know that the eyes of the community play a lot; parents are often afraid to seek help, because they are not familiar with the Quebec system. It adds an extra layer between the parent and institutions like the DPJ, for example,” she says.

Over the years, Mrs Coppry has seen the harm that the absence of parents can cause to young people. “I have seen intervention plans signed without the parents even knowing about it. How can a young person grow and evolve if his parents are not even aware of the difficulties he must overcome? ” she asks.

Today, young people are in contact with armed violence at an earlier and earlier age. Although it has decreased in Montreal over the last two years, this form of violence has however affected more minors. and, therefore, more parents and families.

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Treating the problem at its root

“Being one person at home and being another person outside is the daily life of many immigrant children,” Myriam Coppry has repeated several times. In fact, this is one of the symptoms of the disconnection that exists between these parents and their children, who grow up far from the land where their parents were born.

For Rola Koubeissy, an assistant professor at the University of Montreal who specializes in learning in a context of diversity and inclusion for young people and their families, there are several issues related to the healthy integration of young immigrants. “The most important,” she continues on the phone, “the most important ones,” she continues on the phone, are especially cultural and social issues. It's hard to feel like you belong to your host society.”

She insists that strengthening this sense of belonging must be done through institutions, especially schools. “It is at school that young people must feel included, understand that they belong here, even if they were not born here, even if they were not born here, or their parents were not born here. If these issues are not taken into account, this is where we will create discrimination and marginalization against these children,” she underlines.

One of the weak points in integrating these young people is that there is not enough emphasis on the involvement of parents, believes the university teacher. “When you don't know how to involve parents in their children's lives, you add to this divide that exists between them, but also between parents and institutions.”

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What isolates immigrant parents from the lives of their young people?

It's easy to fall in the trap of prejudism. Mrs. Koubeissy mentions this in particular by explaining that “one should not consider that parents are disinterested because they are not familiar with Quebec culture or the Quebec system. They came here for the success of their own, and despite the differences, they share a common goal with the other actors in the lives of their young people.”

The expert in educational psychology finds that there is also a lack of concrete means to facilitate dialogue between parents and institutions. “It is not enough to communicate minimally. Options for engagement, interest, and involvement should be created so that parents know what is going on with students. Not only does this promote student learning and integration, but it also allows parents to be on the same page as their young people, to better understand them,” she concludes.

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To go further

• The City of Montreal has set up the RENFORT line, a telephone support service for those who are concerned about armed violence.
• Parents can also contact NunaNuq in complete confidentiality by email at info@nunanuq.services or by phone at 1-833-462-2622