From Ghana to Montreal, Kwabena's journey to the LGBTQ+ community and acceptance
In the pleasant hustle and bustle of a library café, we find Kwabena Kaye-Essien, a 31-year-old Ghanaian who has settled in Montreal.
Kwabena left Ghana at the beginning of November 2023, fleeing persecution because of his homosexuality. He tells how he ended up on the other side of the world. Eager to share his story, he explains with enthusiasm, for over an hour, how he arrived in Quebec.
Kwabena has a bright smile, a soft voice, and kind eyes. “I am someone who likes to talk, and everyone who likes to talk is my friend,” he says. But when you dive into his past, he quickly becomes serious.
Kwabena describes herself as someone who is “honest and candid”, which is not always easy for a person Queer in Ghana. According to him, the secrecy and contempt that hang over his community make it difficult to truly feel at home in the small LGBTQ+ community in his country.
“Public humiliations”
“There is an internalized homophobia, which comes from the society and families in which we live. Some people come from a very conservative religious background, and although they are Queer, they just don't want to accept their orientation. They are fighting with religion and their sexuality,” he said.
Kwabena grew up in the village of Huni Valley in western Ghana. Belonging to the Akan ethnic group and the Fante tribe, he managed to hide his sexuality from his family until he completed high school in 2012. When she discovered he was gay, his mother began subjecting him to public humiliation and verbal abuse.
“I went through hell with my mom. She could insult me from morning to night,” he said.
He got a bit of a break when he moved to Accra, the country's capital, where he took courses in human resources management and business administration at the university. His family believed that he “prayed for homosexuality to go away” during his studies.
But in 2021, online images showing him in a safe LGBTQ+ space in Ghana resurfaced. Her mother's violence comes back again.
“She even ended up telling me that I was a pain in the ass, that the money that was used to finance my university studies, excuse my language, should have been used to build a public toilet and that she would have made more money on her investment,” he says, his eyes wide open. “I got to the point where I got to the point where I considered suicide because of the constant insults, insults and everything else. were really reaching,” he adds.
Defending the rights of LGBTQ+ people in Ghana
In search of comfort, Kwabena became a volunteer at a local LGBTQ+ rights organization in Accra. He eventually landed a job there as a CFO, which he held full-time in 2021. The organization offers awareness-raising activities, safer spaces, and financial assistance to people Queer.
“At the beginning it was really great. I felt like I was at home and part of my community,” says Kwabena.
But life in this organization is not without challenges. Its members must go unnoticed to avoid persecution. Some, including Kwabena, live at the head office. This place is used as a living environment, in part so that the organization can remain secret.
In 2022, the police were informed of the presence of a trans woman in front of the organization's premises. When questioned, she reveals that the house is home to people Queers, and so the police are raiding. No charges were brought, because at the time, Ghanaian law only punished people caught red-handed in non-heterosexual sexual relationships. However, residents are beginning to fear further police interventions.
The organization provides financial and emotional support to Kwabena for a period of time. But the pressures of living together, working together, and fighting for the survival of the community end up getting the better of her efforts.
“We have mixed personal feelings with professionalism; and our personal feelings can take precedence over our professionalism. There were so many petty quarrels and arguments. How can we be respected, tolerated, and accepted if we don't stand together? ”, laments the young man.
Interpersonal conflicts and accusations of favouritism then multiplied, which ended up causing Kwabena to leave the organization last July. “What my mother did to me hurt me, but what my community did to me, it hurt me even more,” he summarizes.
Ghanaian “family values”
Short of money, Kwabena leaves her shelter to live with a friend. To make matters worse, an anti-LGBTQ+ bill is being reactivated in the Ghanaian Parliament at the same time. “Everything that has to do with identity Queer is criminalized in this bill,” he explains.
Initially presented in 2021, the bill, entitled” Promotion of Proper Human Sexual Rights and Ghanaian Family Values ” (Promotion of human sexual rights and Ghanaian family values), was adopted at second reading in 2023.
It includes prison sentences for public displays of affection between same-sex partners, the dissolution of LGBTQ+ organizations, and a “duty to report” activities defending the rights of LGBTQ+ people.
“If you go to [the LGBTQ+ rights organization's] Instagram page, you'll see my photos. I have interviews on YouTube [about my work defending people's rights] Queers]. The bill allows any citizen to report anyone suspected of being gay. It also gives your parents and landlord the responsibility to “get you out of the closet.” Imagine that your mother said a lot about you, that she dishonored you in public, is she going to protect you? She will certainly prefer to protect the family as a whole, because if the authorities find out that they did not report you, they will hold the family responsible,” he explains.
The bill was approved by the Ghanaian Parliament in February, after Kwabena left Ghana. This legislative initiative is still awaiting the president's signature to come into force.
“Even before this bill was passed, there were a lot of cases of blackmail, beatings, stabbing people. Today, people have the power legitimised by the law to continue to do so,” he adds.
Kwabena himself experienced blackmail, which hastened his departure from Ghana. He invited a man he met on Grindr, a dating app for gays. When her guest arrived, Kwabena found that the man in question didn't look like her Grindr profile at all. Having lost contact with members of the LGBTQ+ rights group, he did not see the warning they sent on WhatsApp about the man, who is known to be a blackmailer. Kwabena feels that what happened next could not have been avoided.
“Honestly, I had to let [the singer] do everything he wanted. Sex is something that requires chemistry between two people, and it takes some form of connection to achieve that. But as I was lying there doing nothing, he felt frustrated. He told me to give him money so he could leave. I had spent all the money I had on rent, so I had to borrow money from my cousin to make him leave.”
He tells everything in a very factual way, maintaining eye contact. His story takes a worse turn when he talks about the consequences of this encounter: “These blackmailers, if they don't get something from you, they come back to cause more trouble. They suck a lot out of you. Even if you give them everything you have, they end up reporting you to the public. So I packed my bags and left.”
Discouraged, penniless and exhausted, Kwabena landed in Montreal on November 2, 2023. He has no money, but luckily he has a still valid visa to enter Canada and has valuable relationships after attending a conference in Montreal on AIDS prevention in 2022.
Welcoming the Montreal community
When asked to describe her arrival in Montreal, her speech changes dramatically. He straightens up and shows a big smile. “We think our life is over, and then people welcome us, we meet extraordinary people... It's great! Oh, my God, I love being here in Montreal,” he says, beaming.
“I met so many amazing people! ”, says Kwabena.
It was thanks to Kwame, a Canadian friend of Ghanaian origin, that he found someone to host him temporarily. He and Kwame met at the HIV Prevention Research Conference in 2022.
“Kwame told me, “I'm going to block all my Ghanaian friends on my Facebook and I'll write what you have to do.” Fortunately, five minutes later, someone told me that they could welcome me,” he said.
Kwabena expressed deep gratitude to his host, Emily, who hosted him for free for six months, buying him a subway card and other basic necessities. “We are now a family,” he said.
He met another of his closest friends, Tony, through Grindr — an experience that was diametrically opposed to the one he had with his blackmailer. “Meeting Tony was also one of the best things that ever happened to me here in Montreal,” he says. His mother is Ghanaian and Akan, so he speaks our local language fluently and eloquently. Our connection was made immediately.”
Since her arrival, Kwabena has met a lot of others by volunteering and attending the Montreal LGBTQ+ community center. He volunteers for Aids Community Care Montreal, where he is also a member of the board of directors, and for the Canadian Association for Education and Awareness, an LGBTQ2S+ organization.
“I am very connected to the LGBTQ2S+ community,” he says. Kwabena feels that he now feels good about himself. “I wake up every day not thinking about what anyone is going to say about me, how I should dress, how I should walk to not be so effeminate,” he explains.
Kwabena hopes that her boyfriend will soon be able to join him in Canada. “The only thing I miss is my boyfriend. God, I miss him so, so, so much! I wish he were there with me! ” he confides.
The two met in November 2022 at an art festival in Ghana, and they've been together ever since. “For me, it was love at first sight. It is, in fact, my first relationship that lasted more than six months. Hopefully we can formalize and legalize our relationship soon,” he said.
Kwabena's journey is not over yet. He got his work permit but has not yet found a stable job. He reviewed his story with a lawyer in preparation for the hearing he must go through to obtain refugee status. For him, the fight is worth it.
“I wouldn't say that I am Free... but I feel like I'm in my comfort zone. I feel like I am in a place where I am accepted and where I can be what I want to be,” the young man rejoices.
Resources for 2SLGBTQ+ people:
- AGIR Montréal (Organization managed by and for the LGBTQIA+ migrant community)
- Canadian Association for Education and Awareness (CAEO) Quebec
- Montreal LGBTQ+ Community Center
- Project 10 (peer counseling for 2SLGBTQ+ youth)
- West Island 2SLGBTQ+ Youth Center
- For a more comprehensive list of organizations, visit the site https://fiertemontreal.com/en/organizations.