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It is at the corner of Saint-Michel and Émile-Journault streets that we find the Pretty Little Thing lounge. Miriam, Maria Magdalena and Diego work at this location, where hair and nail services are offered. All three are part of the same family.
We meet again on a Friday in the early afternoon at the lounge. The weather is nice. As the sun's rays light up the sky, Diego starts styling one of his clients. Meanwhile, Miram and Maria Magdalena, Diego's aunt and mother, take care of other clients.
The daily life of these three members of the Sarmiento-Rojas family is organized around the lounge and the services that each one offers. The family's journey has been winding, and the achievements of each of them are the result of a struggle dating back to a time that precedes their arrival in Canada. It is through the story of the Sarmiento-Rojas that an inspiring story appears: that of refugees of Colombian origin who become a successful family model in the neighborhood that saw them grow up.
Hard knocks, numerous falls
Miriam has always been a fashion designer. She was a designer in her country of origin, Colombia, and although she worked in a variety of jobs in Canada, including being a cook and a masseuse, it is fashion design that she is passionate about. She has lived in Canada for 16 years. Like Diego and her family, Miriam had to leave Colombia because her family was a victim of military violence. “I really love my country, but why did I leave it? There were several deaths. There were a lot of wars. Unfortunately, we had to leave our country,” she told La Converse.
She was one of the first to come as a refugee, 16 years ago, and has lived in several cities. First settled in Joliette, where the Colombian community is important, she then moved to Montreal. She now lives in Saint-Michel, where she says she feels good, but like many members of this Colombian family, life has taken its toll on her, even here in Canada.
“In 2010, I lost my eldest son in a traffic accident. He was 22. It was very dramatic, very hard.” Miriam went through this loss with ups and downs, as she did in the past for other members of her family. She fell several times and had to continue her own story of overtaking.
Grief also affected her sister, Maria Magdalena. Both lost their father in the violence that, in the 2000s, hit the Eastern Llanos, a region of Colombia where livestock and peasant activity are important. Maria Magdalena made the decision to leave for Canada a few years later. She, her husband and their son, Diego, and their son Diego have been living in the country for almost 10 years.
“We had to experience the displacement and death of my father and three of my brothers. They worked in the fields. They had to pay Vacunas [Editor's note: extortion practised by guerrilla groups in areas where they are established] and they were hunted down. Dad's death has been declared a “crime against humanity,” she explains, devastated. At the time, she continues, groups such as the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) and the National Liberation Army (ELN) were present in this region of Colombia.
No more duels
Maria Magdalena came to Canada as a refugee by crossing the American-Canadian border. Although the first five years were difficult, as for many migrants who settle in Quebec, she chose to remember the positive points. “These first years were first of all those years of waiting. When we arrived, thank God, we were welcomed by very friendly people who helped us,” she said.
She recognizes that there were difficulties nonetheless. She was 52 when she experienced a particular type of bereavement, that of migration, through which almost all migrants go through. “The most difficult thing was change: I was a director and I managed 300 to 400 people. I had to come here to clean up. Sometimes people don't think of you as someone who has studied.”
Maria Magdalena studied French during the day and worked at night. With Diego, she cleaned stores and malls. Often, his working hours extended into the wee hours of the morning. Both had to go out in the snow and cold of the hard Montreal winters, only to get up a few hours later to study French for at least six hours.
“One day I started crying at home. During francization, I was in a classroom, and people were speaking in French or other languages. There were a lot of people from different countries, and I had a terrible headache. I said that day that I would not be coming back, and my children said to me: “Mom, you are not really going to quit francization. We know it's hard, but you're going to learn little by little. We are someone thanks to you!” ” she said.
Hard work
For Diego, things weren't easy either, but his determination to progressively achieve his dreams helped him navigate life's curves with optimism. For him, his mother and his aunt, family comes first. Being able to help his parents buy their first home in Montreal was one of the driving forces that motivated him to keep working so hard for days and nights.
The process was difficult for him as well, he said. “I had to start from scratch, but I also had the opportunity to start a new life, a new profession, and I had to learn a new language. We started cleaning at night, and we studied during the day. It was a very difficult process, but our aim was to have our own house, my parents' house.”
After getting his French diploma, Diego thought it was best to continue cleaning at night. He wanted to become a hairdresser and, to do so, he had to study. “With the money I earned, I paid for my products, my brushes and I studied coloring.” At that time, he counted on the support of his friend, a Montrealer of Colombian origin who came to the country as a child.
“I saw my mom and dad. They were taking the bus at 3 am. Sometimes it snowed very hard, we were wet and it was very cold. But we only saw the positive, never anything negative — it was a difficult experience, yes, but other people are going through even more difficult situations,” he said.
He found his first job as a fashion designer in another salon, as an assistant. This is where, he says, he first experienced discrimination in the world of work. “Sometimes people are mean because you don't speak well, because you have an accent, because you have your own way of being. I think they were pretty intimidated to see a happy person. I think they didn't really like the fact that I always had a smile on my face. I think it's the joy that you have as a Latino that sometimes people don't take very well. I think that, for all Latinos and migrants who have been through difficult things, the only thing we don't lose is our smile and our joy. It is also what pushes us to move forward,” he explained.
Continue, again and again
The death of Miriam's eldest son was a very difficult moment. She admits that she found herself lost and without a goal for a while. It was her faith and her younger daughter, who was 17 at the time, that helped her get back on her feet. “First of all God, because I am a person who believes in God, and my daughter, who said to me, “Mom, I need you.” These are the things that allowed me to continue living,” she said.
Miriam knows that these processes are difficult, and she has a great deal of empathy for those who have to overcome such challenges. “You wake up in the morning, you look in the mirror, and sometimes you just need a boost. People who are really suffering miss love so they can move forward,” she recalled, before adding with pride that her daughter, who lives in Alberta, has finished her studies and works for the Canadian government.
After the death of Miriam's son, Diego convinced her to move to Montreal. She is now her nephew's assistant and does not rule out starting to cook special dishes again to sell them. Diego, she says, is one of her biggest motivations. “My nephew tells me that I have a very good seasoning, he encourages me to make dishes to sell. We motivate each other in all areas,” she reported with pride.
For Miriam, working in a beauty salon is also a way of helping clients, as she sees taking time for yourself as a form of therapy as well. “People come here with a lot of problems, but we talk to them and we get them excited. For many, it's like therapy because it's about relaxing, loving yourself, looking in the mirror, and telling yourself that you're worth it. Whatever we've been through, that's life: we all go through tough times.”
From cleaning lady to volunteer
The words of her children were decisive for Maria Magdalena, who, every time she fell, wiped her knees. After mourning and the fatigue of studying during the day and working at night, the mother found a new orientation and started to donate time at school where she learned French. She helped elderly people go through a francization process, the same process that brought tears to her eyes before.
But Maria Magdalena wanted to do something else. It was by asking her son to give her the opportunity to work with him that she fulfilled this wish. Today, she continues to work with him as an assistant, which gives her a sense of accomplishment. “I draw my strength from the lessons of my father and my mother. I come from a farm, in Llanos Orientales, where livestock are worked and the land is cultivated. Since childhood, our parents taught us that not everything in life is easy, and that if you fall, you can get up and keep going,” said Maria Magdalena, referring to her family motto.
No more dreams
Diego, on the other hand, is grateful not only to have space in the PLT lounge, but also that Julie, its owner, is part of his family. He is also grateful to be able to count on his aunt and mother as assistants, a testament to the close ties that unite this family.
“My real team is the two of them. I love working with them because I feel like family, and that's how my clients feel: we are family. They come and feel like part of my family. Every customer who comes to my house, I see them as a member of my family... My customers are the ones who feed us every day, who help us pay for our things, so they are very important to us,” he exclaimed.
Diego wants to open his own beauty school one day, but he does not yet have a specific project. What is clear is that he wants to give all the necessary impetus to his new business, PLThé, a tea bar located very close to the living room where he works, and continue to live in the present. “Having gone through difficult times, having lost so many parents and important people in our family, having lost so many parents and important people in our family, which has each time caused us great pain, has allowed us to understand that material things do not really exist. Material things come and go. You fall, you get up and you keep going. Let's live in the present,” he concluded with a smile on his face.
For her part, Maria Magdalena, wants to continue to see her children achieve their dreams. They are all Canadians today, she says, and she adds with pride that they are all working. She is also thankful to have five grandchildren — one of whom lives in Colombia but will be coming to Canada — and to continue to have the support of her husband.
Perhaps Miriam will follow Diego's recommendations and start cooking dishes to sell. Her words comfort and reassure her. “I have always said one thing: “The darker the night, the brighter the dawn.” You have to live each day as if it were your last, but with joy and enthusiasm.”
* With information from Melissa Haouari